Choices
by Devil-may-care101
Summary: Post 4:16, oneshot. DL angst. Can she accept what he did, or is she going to go it all alone from now on? Can he convince her to give him another chance? Written in one of my 'I hate men moods'. NO offence intended! Please r'n'r!
1. Chapter 1

_Just so you all know, I am a HUGE DL shipper but when I wrote this I was in one of my 'I hate cheating men' moods, so that may have influenced the writing slightly XD. Also the song cam onto my itunes and I thought it fit perfectly with my mood._

_Disclaimer: Own nothing, never have, never will._

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_Baby you're so beautiful  
And when i'm near you i can't breathe  
A girl like you gets what she wants  
When she wants it  
You're so out of my league  
I show you no emotion  
Don't let you see what you're doin' to me  
I Imagine the two of us together  
But I've been livin' in reality_

_Fear of rejection, kept my love inside  
But time is running out  
So damn my foolish pride!_

_I don't care if you think i'm crazy  
It doesn't matter if it turns out bad  
I've got no fear of losin' you  
You can't lose what you never had_

_Now i'm gonna confess that i love you  
I've been keepin' it inside feelin' i could die  
Now if you turn away baby that's O.K.  
At least we'll have a moment  
Before you say goodbye_

_(you cant lose what you never had)_

_Rules Are made for breakin'  
Nothing' ventured nothin' gained  
I'll be no worse off than i am right now  
And i might never get the chance again_

_Fear of rejection, kept my love inside  
Told my heart I didn't want you but i lied_

_I don't care if you think i'm crazy  
It doesn't matter if it turns out bad  
I've got no fear of losin' you  
You can't lose what you never had_

_Now i'm gonna confess that i love you  
I've been keepin' it inside feelin' i could die  
Now if you turn away baby that's O.K.  
At least we'll have a moment  
Before you say goodbye_

_Here on the outside lookin' in  
Don't wanna stay dreamin'  
bout what could have been  
I need to hear you speak my name  
Even if you shoot me down in flames_

_I don't care if you think i'm crazy  
It doesn't matter if it turns out bad  
I've got no fear of losin' you  
You can't lose what you never had_

_..I'm gonna confess that i love you  
I've been keepin' it inside feelin' i could die  
Now if you turn away baby that's O.K.  
At least we'll have a moment  
Before you say goodbye_

_You can't lose what you never had  
You can't lose what you never had  
You can't lose what you never had  
You can't lose what you never had_

Lindsay Monroe stalked into her apartment, refusing to let the tears fall. She was strong dammit and she wouldn't let this bother her. She would carry on with her head high as if nothing had ever happened.

She'd returned from Danny's apartment, and this was the cause of her bad mood. He'd refused to let her in again, refused to admit she knew what she was talking about, refused to even give her the chance to stand by him.

Refused to admit that he'd cheated.

Because deep down, she knew he had. No matter how much she wanted to ignore the feeling, no matter how much she wanted to pretend that he was still grieving. He'd still cheated, even though she'd offered him all the chances in the world to open up to her.

And what was worse is that she knew it had been with Rikki. That hurt the most by far. She didn't need him to admit it, just as she didn't need to him to admit that he's cheated. It was just something she could sense. Lindsay had had plenty of experience with cheating boyfriends, both inside of work and outside of work. She knew all the signs. She could see it in his eyes when he refused to make eye contact with her, when he refused to talk to her outside of work.

What hurt almost as much was that this was Danny who'd cheated. Supposedly the same man who'd flown out to Montana, the same man who'd held her when she cried, the same man who'd spent almost two years trying to get her to give him a chance. She'd been wary of having her heart broken, wary of becoming the next notch in Danny Messer's bedpost. She'd heard of his reputation. But eventually, her heart had won out. And look where it got her.

Picking up the photo of the two of them taken at the team's annual Christmas party, her knuckles went white as she gripped the frame. Tears poured from her eyes as she saw what they used to be, what they used to have. Or at least, what she'd thought they'd had. But maybe that was lie. Maybe everything he'd told her was a lie. She didn't know the difference anymore.

She hurled the frame away from her, curling up into a ball on the floor as the glass shattered and the frame splintered. She clenched and unclenched her jaw so many times she began to get a jaw ache. She couldn't believe she'd let herself become this vulnerable. That she'd allowed herself to fall for this man. That she'd allowed herself to love him. How could she have been so stupid? Men were all the same. Sooner or later they would cheat, and then most would be too cowardice to admit it.

She jumped as she heard a knock at her door. She knew it was him. But she refused to open the door, refused to even acknowledge that she was home. It wouldn't work she knew, and she knew he wouldn't go away, but she refused to give in. She needed to be strong, needed to prove that she could manage without him, that she could stand up to him without a second thought.

"Lindsay, if you don't open this door, I'll kick it down. Please, we have to talk."

She ignored him, cowering away from the door as she heard him banging. She tried to wish herself away, tried to pretend that this was all a dream. But she knew that she couldn't when she heard his key in the lock. She swore to herself, why had she ever given him a key? Why had she thought she could trust him? She stayed in the corner of the room, waiting for him to come and find her. She'd done enough, had tried her hardest to help him but now, he was the one who had to do the work. She refused to be part of this game any longer.

She heard the door close behind him, heard him walk across her hardwood floors, the echoing of his footsteps resembling the beating of her heart. He stopped in the doorway, eyes taking in the scene before they settled on her in the corner. Taking a step forward, his feet crunched on the glass of the broken picture frame, and his eyes widened when he saw the remains of what was once a happy memory. She saw him gulp, but still could see the determination in his eyes to talk to her. He came and crouched down in front of her.

"Lindsay, please. Can we talk?"

Her voice came out harsh, gravely. "So know when it suits you, you want to talk? Well you know what, I don't want to talk. There is nothing to talk about."

His eyes locked with hers, desperate locking with angry. "Linds, I'm so…"

She interrupted him. "You're sorry? About what? Pushing me away? Cutting me out? Hurting my feelings?" She could see the hurt in his eyes at her words, so she decided to continue. "Sleeping with Rikki? Is that what you're sorry about? 'Cos you have a funny way of showing it." She hissed, taking some small victory from the way he recoiled from her.

"How did you…?"

"How did I know? Well lets say this isn't the first time I've been cheated on."

Danny looked down at his feet, ashamed. "I'm sorry. I didn't do it to hurt you."

Lindsay laughed, the sound coming out like nails on a blackboard. "You know what, I don't care. I don't care anymore. Clearly you didn't care enough about my feelings, so why should I care about your apology?"

Danny's eyes widened, his expression looking like she'd slapped him. "Course I care about your feelings!"

"What before or after you cheated!! Or maybe even during the time you cheated? You wanna talk, ok lets talk - was she any good? Was she better than me? Did she make you scream like I could?"

Danny gripped her shoulders. "Dammit Lindsay, you know it meant nothing!"

"Well it clearly meant more than our relationship. I thought maybe I was upset because we'd lost something special. Clearly I was mistaken, I can't be upset - I can't lose something I never had." Lindsay finished quietly, feeling her heart break as she realised the truth behind these words. She stood, trying to move away, but she was pinned to the wall as Danny too stood up, refusing to let her past until he'd had his say.

"Dammit, just listen to me! We do have something! And because I was a jackass I screwed up and we lost it. What I had with her meant nothing! Nothing at all. No matter what you believe that is the truth. I felt guilty for Ruben's death and didn't want to load it on you. You mean more to me than anything and I didn't want to bring you down with me!"

"So you lied to me, and cheated on me! What, was that supposed to be an easy alternative?"

"No of course it wasn't."

"What do you want from me Danny? Clearly I was no more than an occasional fuck buddy, and obviously my use has run out. I thought maybe the fact you spent two years chasing me meant something, but obviously not."

"You weren't and you know it."

"Do I? Do I really? Well you cheating kinda gave me that impression!" She ducked under his arms trying to escape, but he grabbed her arms and held her to his chest.

"Get off me you bastard!" She screamed at him, hitting him on the chest with her fist, trying to release all the pent up anger and pain she felt. Her screams turned to sobs as they stood there, him rocking her as she cried.

"Why did you do it? Why didn't you realise that I loved you?" She sobbed, still hitting his chest but without much force. Her small frame wracked with sobs and she leant against him, trying to stop herself gaining comfort from his embrace.

"Because I didn't know what I had until I'd lost you. I didn't think you'd want to see me the way I was, I didn't want you to think I was weak. I didn't want you to think it was my fault that Ruben died. Because I didn't want to admit that I loved you, 'cos I'd never felt anything like that before. I didn't want to admit it then lose you."

"If you love someone, you let them help you. Not do this to them."

"I know. God I know and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I just want the chance to make it up to you."

"I think you should go."

"Lindsay…"

"Please. Just…go. Now. I don't know how to handle this right now." She turned away and shut her eyes, knowing that if she looked at him she would give in. She felt him let go of her, and heard him walk away. Just before he reached the door, she heard him say "I'm not giving up Lindsay. I'm not giving up on this. I'll prove that to you." And with that, he walked out of the door.

She stood still for a long time after that, everything that had just been said running through her mind. She didn't know what to do anymore. Didn't know whether she should forgive him or just move on. He'd sounded sincere, but she just couldn't tell anymore.

Sighing, she went into her bedroom, leaving the broken glass for the following morning. She found another photo of them on her dresser, and she looked at it for a while, before putting it back face down.

Maybe forgiveness was possible, maybe she could forgive him for what he'd done. She just didn't know yet.

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_Sorry to all the men out there, I know this was a little harsh and that not all men are like this. Bad experiences can influence you, ya know?_

_Reviews are appreciated and welcomed with open arms :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_Well, I never intended for this to be more than a oneshot, but I'm glad that you liked it so i thought I'd add a little bit more for you._

_This is basically what I think Lindsay would be thinking. In the shoe, I want them to make up and all that, but I do not condone cheating, and I think that Lindsay definatey has the right to hurt._

_I hope you like it, there might be a couple more chapters depending on what you think of this one. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine._

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The following day, Lindsay went for a walk. Unfortunately, being the middle of summer, there wasn't any ran to help her think, but she had to make do with what she had.

Of course, it being New York City, there was no quiet. Even in the middle of Central Park, where she currently was, the morning traffic could still be heard, and as strange as it was, the noise was therapeutic. After she'd left Montana, Lindsay had always wondered whether she'd become accustomed to the hustle and bustle of a busy city than Bozeman didn't offer. But one day, it had just sounded natural to her, and after that ceased to wish for the peace of the countryside.

Lindsay didn't have a particular destination that she was walking to, but she carried on regardless, thoughts churning at a mile a minute. After Danny had left the night before, Lindsay hadn't been able to sleep, questions and images rising unbidden to her mind. Eventually, she'd just given up, and after several hours of nursing a stone cold coffee, she decided she needed to get out and clear her head. The broken glass that she'd found on her floor that morning had reminded her about how her heart had broken, shattered into pieces,

On some level, she only had herself to blame. When she'd started getting closer to Danny, people had warned her off, saying that he would only break her heart. But she'd ignored them, choosing to make up her own mind, finally letting someone in for the first time since her friend's died all those years before. But it had turned out that the cynics were right all along. He had broken her heart and she'd let him, blinded by her own feelings so much that she hadn't noticed the decline in their relationship until it was already too late. Maybe she should never have told him that she wasn't good at dealing with grief, maybe she should have pushed him to open up more, maybe she should have forced him to see that Ruben's death was not his fault. Then maybe he wouldn't have turned to Rikki.

But then again, maybe he'd been honest about the circumstances that led up to it. Maybe it had been the fact that Ruben had died that pushed him into the arms of another woman. Maybe the guilt he'd felt had caused him to do things he never would usually do. And Lindsay herself was not to blame for that.

But that didn't make it right. Yes maybe it had been caused by guilt and yes maybe it meant nothing, but that still didn't mean it was right. Lindsay was a firm believer that cheating was never right, no matter what the circumstances, and as she grew older and as she experienced being cheated on repeatedly, she swore that she could never again be with a cheater. No matter how much she loved him, if he was a cheater, she would always walk away and not look back. But she'd naively believed that it would be that easy, that she would just be able to walk away. In reality, as she was just finding out, it wasn't that easy. As much as she wanted to hate Danny for what he'd done, as much as she wanted to walk away from him, she couldn't. Because it just was not that simple.

And nothing she could do could make it simple. Their lives were irrevocably intertwined, and they probably always would be, no matter what happened between them. They worked together and Lindsay refused to leave the job she loved so much just because of a failed relationship. Yes, if they went their separate ways, it would be hard, but she would eventually get over him, and she would eventually move on. Maybe she and Danny would find a way to be friends again, just as they had been friends before.

But the question was, did she want to get over him? Did she really want to move on and only ever be friends with him? She admitted that the time she'd spent with Danny had finally made her feel as if she could live her own life and move on from her troubled past, and he gave her a sense of security she'd held onto tightly since moving to the city. Could she really let that go, did she really want to? And no matter if they left everything they'd had behind - there would always be memories of what had happened between and then what it had been like before everything went wrong. Because she couldn't deny that before everything it had been good. Just as she couldn't deny that she still loved him.

On the surface, she wanted to hate Danny, and Rikki for what had happened. Because she knew it took two to tango. But deep down, she knew that she couldn't. Both Danny and Rikki had been deeply affected by Ruben's death, and their grief was only understandable. She could understand that Danny would be better suited to grieve with Rikki as they both knew Ruben and could share memories with each other. Granted, sleeping together was not something she'd ever imagined happening, but then, as a victim of intense grief, she knew that the death of someone you loved could affect you in ways you never even imagined possible. And sometimes your grief can hurt the ones you hold dear.

But that didn't mean Lindsay was ready to forgive just yet. She could certainly understand his point of view, could even go as far as to say she may have been the same in his position, but she wasn't ready to forgive. All of the walls she'd taken down had been put up again, to try and protect her already fragile heart from further heartbreak.

She wanted to believe Danny, she really did. She wanted to believe that he still wanted them, that he was willing to fight for, that he truly was sorry about what he'd done. But the hurt was still too raw. Lindsay had let her guard down and she'd paid for it dearly. Right now, she couldn't deal with that anymore. And some of the things she'd said to Danny she had meant. She sometimes did feel that she'd been used, that she'd never been anything more than someone to hang out with on a cold night. Someone to have a bit of fun with. But the night before, she'd let anger control her, let her pain override the voice of reason. In the past, when Lindsay had been cheated on, she'd only ever felt pain - why had they done it, what could she do to get them back? More often than not they had left her, and she'd had to deal with the pain of loss all over again. She'd thought maybe Danny was different, that maybe he'd treat her the way she needed to be treated. And he hadn't. So for the first time, instead of thinking about what she'd done wrong, she'd thought _what did you do to deserve me?_ But the anger had given away to pain. The hurt she felt ran deep, and apologies couldn't make that go away overnight.

Could she forgive him? She didn't know. She wanted to. And at the same time she didn't. The two sides of Lindsay were fighting it out. Lindsay had long ago learnt that hate was an emotion that only caused more pain. She'd seen enough hatred in her job, and she knew where it could lead. And Lindsay didn't want to be one of those unforgiving people who refused to let go of the past. She didn't want to hate. She knew from firsthand experience that everyone made mistakes - after the murders, she herself had gotten herself into a bad way, and it had taken a lot to bring her out of the mess she'd made for herself. She knew Danny didn't deserve her anger, even if what he'd done was hurtful and possibly unforgivable. He'd made a mistake. And if she was being honest, she doubted that she could hate him even if she tried. And if she didn't want to live in the past, surely she could forget and move on, just like Danny had taught her too after the trial in Montana. Yes, it wouldn't be easy, and there would be a lot of pain along the way, but would the end result be worth it?

She didn't want to lose Danny. He'd made her the person she was now, and to lose him would be losing part of her. Because not only was Danny the person she loved, he'd also been her best friend. And she needed her best friend to get her out of this mess.

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_Well I hope that this was satisfactory for you all - I spent ages trying to get it right, then just though, What would I do, and thw words just kinda flowed. If you want me to write some more, click the little purple button and let me know!_

_Reviews are very much appreciated, so I will thank those of you who have already reviwed._


	3. Chapter 3

_My God, its a long time since I've updated this story. My huge apologies. If you've read ETBKS... then you know my reasons. If not, it doesn't matter, I've just had a lot on my plate. _

_To be honest, its been so long that I've attempted to write this story so I don't really have a direction as such just yet. I do know that this will be a much shorter story than any of my other ones, mostly because I feel its all been covered, done and dusted with season 4 and 5. I will write this, and it will have the same ending as in the show, its just the stops in between that I'm going to flesh out._

_Disclaimer: I own zilch. Nada. Nichts. Nothing. And all mistakes are my own XD_

_Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You know who you are :D_

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Danny groaned as he heard the loud banging on his door. He put his head under his pillow, hoping that the banging would stop. It didn't.

"Danny, I know you're in there. Open the damn door!"

The voice sifted through the walls, and to Danny it sounded like Lindsay. He scoffed at himself - of course it wouldn't be Lindsay. He doubted she'd ever come near him again after what he'd done to her. And he couldn't say he blamed her. But the banging was doing his head, so he dragged himself out of bed, almost tripping over the blanket that had fallen to the floor during the night, and moved to open the front door.

When he swung the door open, he was greeted with a blurry image, and he squinted, trying to clear the image. Damn it, he'd left his glasses on the dresser again.

"It's about bloody time Messer. Do you know how long I've been standing here?" The voice was definitely female, and sounded angry.

"Lindsay?"

"Of course it's me. Who else would it be? You gonna let me in or not?" Without waiting for an answer, she pushed past the still startled and half asleep Danny and went into the living room, fighting with herself not to look towards his bedroom. Where the whole mess had started.

She wasn't angry at the moment, not really, but she acted as if she was. Her anger had been what had gotten her through to Danny the night before. He'd responded to her hurtful words with the unadulterated truth, and that was what she needed right now. But how much harder to actually do it. How much harder to stand there and keep up her angry façade when deep down she wanted to sit down and cry all the tears or frustration and confusion that were pent up inside of her.

The small bit of anger inside of her that had flared up when he'd taken forever to open the door flickered out when she saw the state of his place. No wonder he hadn't wanted to let her in the night before. The blinds were closed, giving the room a feeling of being a dingy cave. Empty bottles littered the floor, the couch. Takeaway boxes were piled up haphazardly on the kitchen counter. Clothes left randomly around the room. Yet what caught her eye the most was the coffee table. In comparison to the rest of the room, the table was clear, clear from the rubbish and the strewn clothes. Instead, only one thing took up residence on the small surface: a small framed photo. A photo of Ruben.

Danny stood awkwardly near the front door, as if he was unsure she was a mirage or whether she was actually here, in his living room. Shaking his head to clear the fuzziness and the edges of his brain, a combination of alcohol and lack of sleep for the last few consecutive nights in a row, he went into the bedroom to retrieve his glasses. When he came back, he was greeted with the sight of Lindsay collecting the empty bottles and putting them in a cardboard box she must have found under the sink. The embarrassment of the state she'd found him in rose to the surface, and he bowed his head in shame. She shouldn't have had to see this. Shouldn't have had to see him like this.

Maybe if he'd let her in before, it wouldn't be like this now.

"You don't gotta do that." His voice was quiet, and when Lindsay turned around, he was shuffling on his feet, his head bowed. He looked like a reprimanded school-child, but the tips of his ears were visibly red, a clear sign of embarrassment. Lindsay knew Danny hated people to see him in his weakest moments, but she didn't care at that moment. She'd had enough of trying to get him to talk on his terms. So now she was going to make him talk on her own terms. Even if that meant she had to embarrass him to do it.

"Go and take a shower." Her voice was firm and should have left no room for argument. But Danny never had been the best at realising when there is no point in fighting.

"But you shouldn't have…"

Lindsay held up a hand and he shut up. At any other time, she would have been amazed at her power over The Danny Messer, but she was too tired to care. "Just go. Take a shower and then we'll talk." Danny opened his mouth to argue, then shut it again. Maybe Lindsay was right. He wasn't used to this side of Lindsay, but it was what he deserved. Hell, he didn't deserve to even be in the same room as her right now, so he was just going to take what he could get. Nodding sheepishly, he walked towards the bathroom, fetching a few clean towels and a spare pair of clothes out of the cupboard on his way past.

***

Half an hour later, he came back out of the bathroom, his hair sticking up in all directions, the top of his wife beater around his neck slightly damp. He felt a little bit better than he had done before, standing in the shower until he washed away all of the extra guilt and anger he still had inside. He tried to get rid of the guilty feeling that emerged every time he thought of Ruben, but he couldn't. He just couldn't forgive himself for that yet.

When he walked back into the living room, he almost did a double take. In such a short space of time, Lindsay had almost performed a miracle. The bottles had been all stored in the cardboard box, all the takeout rubbish had been put into bags and had been left, with the box, by the door, ready to be taken out. The blinds had been opened and light flooded into the small space, illuminating how much Danny really needed to clean the place properly. The clothes had all been piled up and put in the laundry hamper, waiting to be washed.

Yet all Danny could feel was embarrassment. He should never have let himself get into such a mess.

Lindsay herself was stood by the bay window, light bouncing off of her short brown hair. Danny had to force himself not to comment on how beautiful she looked just stood there. He didn't have that right anymore.

Lindsay knew he was there. She knew she was staring. But she couldn't summon the energy to turn around and face him. She didn't know why she'd felt possessed to clean up his apartment. By rights, he should have done it himself. Or just not let it get into the state that it had been in before she'd arrived. She'd known that Danny had bee broken up about Ruben's death, but she hadn't known that it had got that bad.

But that, she reminded herself, was not her fault. She'd tried to be there for him, but he'd shut the world out, thinking that he could cope with the grief on his own. Although not totally on his own, a small voice whispered in the back of her mind. She pushed this voice away, determined not to let it make her angry. That would get them nowhere.

"I was in college at the time. And I was dating this guy. Jim. I thought we were perfect for each other. He bought me things, he made me feel special. Made me feel like I was the only one in his world. Was nice to my friends. Even my dad approved of the guy. We even talked about getting married. What I didn't know at the time, was that he was screwing around with one of the girls on my course. I only found out after I heard a phone message which he'd forgotten to delete. I confronted him about it. And he swore it was a mistake. Swore that it wouldn't happen again. And I forgave him, let him back into my life. Even after everyone told me not to. Once a cheater, always a cheater, they told me. But I didn't listen. And three months later, I caught him screwing around with the same girl. After that, I swore that I would never date a cheater ever again."

Danny looked down at his feet, his heart feeling the weight of loss once again. She wouldn't give him another chance. But what else had he ever really expected?

Lindsay turned around to face him, her face carefully expressionless. "You see my problem Danny?" Her eyes were what gave her away. She'd never truly been able to control the emotions visible in her eyes. There was anger there now. Sadness. Possibly even a hint of regret.

"The problem is Danny, that I fell in love with you. I fell for you hard and fast. Too hard. Too fast. Which is why I'm stuck. Because I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for what you did. But at the same time, I don't want to let this go. Maybe I was wrong to assume there was something between us, maybe I wasn't. I just don't know anymore."

"Lindsay, I…" She waited patiently, having said what she needed to for the time being. It was up to him now. "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

"Why did you do it Danny?" There was a tinge of sadness in her voice as well as genuine curiosity.

"I told you why Lindsay. Last night. I didn't want you to see me like that. You didn't need to see me like that."

"Maybe not. But you should have given me the chance to decide that for myself rather than you making my decisions for me. You can't protect me from you just like you can't fight the grief you're feeling."

"I was trying to protect you!"

"You can't make that choice for me." Her voice was gentle, insistent. "We're going in circles here Danny. What you're saying, what I'm saying. It's a vicious circle."

"Then what do you want from me Lindsay?"

"What do I want? I want you to forgive yourself for Ruben's death Danny. I want you to accept that it was not your fault. Because that's what got us into this mess. Your misplaced guilt. I know how guilt can mess someone up, I know probably better than anyone. But the guilt will destroy you. Until you forgive yourself, there will never be another chance for us."

Danny looked at her in disbelief. Lindsay saw this and sighed. "I'm still angry Danny. So so angry. And hurt. And I don't honestly know if I will ever be able to forgive you. But that doesn't mean I don't want to try."

Danny looked up at her, hope flickering in his chest. "You want to try?"

"Eventually." Danny wasn't sure what the expression on his face portrayed, but Lindsay interpreted it anyway. "I won't lie to you Danny. This isn't something that is just going to go away. It hurts. A lot. And I know that we have to take time to get over this. So, right now, I can't be with you. Its too hard." Lindsay turned back towards the window, hiding the conflicted emotions on her face, as Danny hung his head in shame behind her. She could see his reflection in the window, could see the blatant guilt and remorse of his face, and she was glad he couldn't see how she was truly feeling. She'd said what she needed to, done all that was within her power to do. It had been much harder than she'd expected, and multiple times, when she'd seen the crushing grief flying through his eyes, she'd had to fight with the urge to run over to him and pull him into a hug, to forgive everything that he'd done.

But she'd known that she couldn't. She wanted to. Even after everything that had happened, she wanted to. But she had to stand her ground, had to make him see what he'd done to her, to them. Had to believe in herself, in her ability to keep herself together no matter what.

Knowing that she had nothing left to say, she walked towards the door, careful to avoid Danny's gaze as she knew that her emotions would be visible though her eyes. An open book. She grabbed her bag, and moved towards the door. Danny stayed silent until she opened the door, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet, subdued, as if weighed down by his emotions.

"I'm sorry Lindsay."

She turned slightly, still refusing to meet his gaze. "I know."

"I'll earn your trust back. I swear to you I will." At his words, Lindsay felt the corners of her lips turn upwards in a small smile, no matter how tried she hard to fight it, before leaving and closing the door behind her with a soft bang. If he was willing to try, then that was all she was asking for.

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_Bleurgh, not my best, but its about as good as this chapters ever going to get. I already have part of the next chapter fleshed out so hopefully if all goes to plan, it will be out shortly. As I said before, I started university last month and my timetable is crazy so please have patience with me :)_

_Please review!_


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